Never Say Never
by EvilAngel319
Summary: Navy man spends one last night with the love of his life, but will he be able to leave her by morning?


**Never Say Never**

 **She's like an angel when she sleeps; making it the best part of the morning. The early morning light filtering in thought the curtains, kissing her natural tan. Our satin sheets lightly detailing the form of her body. Her brown hair is fanned out on to the pillow, lips slightly parted as she breathes in and out. Her eye lashes touch the top of her cheeks. I have to resist the urge to stroke her rosy cheeks, and kiss those pink lips. She moans almost silently, and a smile slowly spreads across her face. It makes me smile, to see her happy in her sleep. Completely content. Praying I am a part of the reason for that beautiful smile.**

 **Then my heart feels heavy as lead. I know this is the last time that I will see her in months, maybe ever. I ship out today with the rest of the naval fleet. We will be "running training courses" as they call it. After 10 years I know better than that. I don't question it though, I never did. I put the thought of all my comrades, ships, guns, and a potential fire fight to the back of my head.**

 **My mind drifts back to last night, which seems like a lifetime ago. "I love you as much as I love life", she had told me last night after we made love. I have to admit, it hit me pretty hard. Making it hard to forget that this would be our last night together. I just kept my arms around her. The thought of going AWOL crosses my mind like it has for the past week. I know she would run with me, if I asked. "What's the matter, my love?" she said as she kissed my cheeks and neck, stirring me back into our moment. I slightly release my grip on her so she can look at me. "Even after 10 years, the last night with you only seems to get harder. Why is that?" she stares at me for a moment, her brown eyes digging deep into my soul. "I think it's because when you leave me you know that you can't completely be at ease, and you can't think of us. Your thoughts go straight to if you don't come back home to me." Her fingers entwine into mine as she talks. I can't look at her because deep down I know she's right, so I stare at what she is doing with our hands. "Shit" is all that I can say. "Why are your thoughts so negative? Don't you want to see me again?" I stare at her, confused as she continues. "I feel like the last week is always a challenge for us, I feel like you grow more distant as the days wear down." Again she is on the ball, but I still can't look at her. "Look at me" she says. My gaze glances up ever so slowly, taking in all of her features that I have come to memorize all too well. When my eyes finally reach her face she is smiling. "What?" I ask. Her smile widens even more. "I love the way you stare at me, almost like I'm a Greek Goddess and you are ready to throw yourself at my feet." I smile at the thought. "I would ask you to marry me right now, but I think that it might be a little cliché." I smile her favorite crooked smile, and cock my head to one side. "Yes, I would have to agree. Also I'm already married to a handsome man, have been for over 10 years now." I pretend to be utterly shocked and disgusted. "And I just hear about this now? I bet he's an asshole." She laughs and throws her head back; I pull her close and begin to kiss her neck. She moans, and the air around us electrifies, the mood changes and the joking and talking stop for the rest of the night. Then morning came.**

 **I gather up my uniform and head for the shower, replaying last night in my mind again and again as I do. As I get dressed I debate on if I should wake her up before I head out. It is only six am after all, but I also don't think that I could handle her tears right now, trying to console her as I've done so many times. It breaks my heart to see her that way, but it always makes me want to come back to her that much more. I walk back into the room and as I knew she would be, she is still asleep. She has been sleeping deeper and longer these past few weeks. I walk up to her with all intention to wake her, but then something stops me; telling me to let her be happy in her dream. The day I ship is always hard on both of us, and I know she will hate me forever, but I decide to go with my gut and leave her be. I bend down and kiss her cheek, and as my lips touch her cheek she turns and pulls me onto her. I tense as I stay there, my arms holding my body up and off of her. I stare down at her and realize that she is not awake. Her arms fall back down and she pushes them under the pillow as she turns to her side. I stay still until she is comfortable then begin to work my way off the bed in silence. "Don't let me go" she whispers in her sleep, her mouth frowns and lips pucker. I can't move after hearing those words, I stay floating over her. I stay in that position for so long that my arms start to shake. A tears starts to flow down my cheek, I wipe it away before it hits her and then jump off the bed. I can't wake her now. I would never be able to leave her if she wakes up.**

 **I walk over to the desk in the room and write three words on a sheet of paper, and place it on my pillow. I look at her one last time and drink in her beauty, then walk out of the room, down the hall and grab my bag that is in front of the door. I take one last deep breath and all I smell is her. Another tear threatens to come so I walk out; locking the door behind me.**

 **I feel myself drifting from my wonderful dream of a little gray eyed toddler named Ian and my husband finally and permanently back from the Navy. I wake up as I hear a car come to life and slip out of the drive way. A lump stays in my throat at the thought that he didn't even bother to wake me up to say goodbye. I reach for his pillow that holds a lingering smell of him to close the hole in my heart that has just broke open from the thought of him not returning, and then I feel the sheet of paper. I read it and tears spring to my eyes and down my face. It was what I had told him only hours ago. Our conversation of him never returning; of us never having children. "Never say Never", it reads. My hand flies to my flat belly and the news that has only just recently formed there. "He** _ **must**_ **come back to us" I say as I wipe the tears from my face, and rub my new reason for living; hopefully not my only reason.**

 **The End**


End file.
